The reluctant Montessorian #1

Hello pals, Jen here – the most reluctant Montessorian in London (the world?)

I am a big fan of sitting-down and doing not really very much of anything. Let’s call it ‘chilling’. And, as a proud member of the working class, I’m predisposed to be very suspicious of anything that my ultra-Northern inner-voice would deem to be pretentious. I guess I thought of Montessori as something other ‘types’ of people do because they are so comfortably off that they’ve come up with all sorts of indulgent ways to spend their time.

Anyway. Long story short my two year old’s temper got so bad during lockdown that it was decided “something has to be done”. We moved into a new house in November and the kid’s toys (I have a five year old as well) ended up in a mound in the corner of the lounge - there was an attempt to use Ikea storage boxes but all categorisation – one box for dolls, one for instruments, one for hellish ‘miscellaneous’ objects - had broken down quicker than a Weetabix in the microwave.

Until 7 weeks ago I wasn’t aware you could ‘Montessori your house’ but I read a Playhood blog post and the simple things like making sure they have a size appropriate table and chair and presenting activities in trays and undone (so their little brains can understand that all the pieces go together and are enticed to try it) seemed so jaw-droppingly obvious that the penny finally dropped.

All I actually did was move all their toys into the shed and put a shelf in the lounge where I put out a small selection of toys or activities – a jigsaw, a puzzle, the colander with pipe cleaners (who knew) and a posting activity - and 3 books, plus a table and chair that we already had (in the shed, duh). I think it’s important to say that I didn’t buy anything new. I found the shelves in the loft and the table and chair are old and covered in felt-tip but it doesn’t matter. 

I’m not going to lie, she hasn’t had a complete personality transplant but we are all so much happier and it’s genuinely made a difference. Not just to her independence but life is a lot easier for EVERYONE.

First of all, there are only four-six activities! This is a game changer because my anxiety (which I didn’t actually even know I had) about making a massive mess has gone. No matter what they do with those activities there are only six of them, I clean them all up a few times a day but compared to the stomach-churning feeling I used to get when they approached ‘the mound’ it’s genuinely liberating. That was a surprise benefit and one that kicks in immediately. 

I also have no anxiety about planning something for them to do. Zero. I’ve not got to come up with some very involved creative idea that they inevitably reject as I thrust it upon them three seconds after turning the TV off. I just put six activities out and change them every few days and they lead the play. A bi-product of this is that I find myself with the headspace, the energy and, quite frankly, the inclination, to come up with a few special projects we can do together, based on what they are showing an interest in… at this point my internal monologue is like, no way, I’m actually a Montessori expert now (this was day two). 

Thirdly, they can occupy themselves for longer and more independently, I can leave the room and not feel like I’ve left them twiddling their thumbs (or they are going to follow me), and finally, the sense of satisfaction and peace that making such a small and easy change is really amazing. So yes, I only did it seven days ago so those benefits are all about me rather than her development, which is, naturally, the biggest reason to do it, but she is happier.

It’s a slow process and not something you should use to try to change problem behaviour (I don’t think that’s the point, technically), but it’s a lovely bi-product of making sure they are empowered and challenged and I’ve discovered it feels really good and is dead easy to do. So, not to give unsolicited advice or anything but you should totally do it.

Jen is a conference and content manager, and mum to a five and two year old.

If Jen has sold the Montessori approach to you (far better than we ever could), we have one membership left for a 2020 start. Drop us a line to here more and follow us on Instagram for more from Jen:)